Happy Anniversary to my love.
Sunday, Collin and I packed up the car and drove a little while outside Gainesville to Cellon Oak Park. The weather was incredible (much like two years ago) and we had a quiet picnic in an open field, shaded by a century oak.
It was everything I could have wanted to celebrate another year. Delicious snacks, a killer wedding cake replay, and a big soft blanket in peaceful solitude.
Good things are happening again.
Or, the bad things have stopped because we've accepted them and are working past it. It's hard to tell sometimes. Whether the storm of crap has ended and that's why it's easier to breath, or if it's because you started looking beyond the now and the universe follows your lead.
I smiled a lot more last week. Collin worked in Orlando Monday night through Wednesday and I used the nights to pump out the xmas ornaments we're gifting family and friends. Productivity really helps to bring me out of a slump.
Then a spontaneous ladies' night at 101 with the girls Thursday melted a little stress from the week and started off a weekend of relaxed company.
Bonfire and beers with the dogs at Cindy's Friday night and after a busy Saturday daytime (errands, work, errands, enameling) she came over to our place and we watched Fight Club on TV and did nothing. It was great. Even got to hang out with Collin after he got out of work because I was still awake!
I finally got Dave Ramsey's book in at the library, too. Picked it up while I was out running those errands on Saturday (like dropping off an etsy order at the post office).
Crap. Now we have to actually start doing the real work.
Good timing though - at least more this week than the last. I think if this book had come in in the thick of financial stresses I might have been a bit overwhelmed and emotional to read it properly (aka without extreme guilt and self-loathing). However, in a better space I realized that we are alright. From reading a little about the baby steps we managed to accomplished #1 ($1000 savings) a long time ago and it turns out the debt snowball was what we were already doing. Well look at that. I will say that we were tested by this last months emergencies - real ones like vet bills and necessary car repairs - and got discouraged. It's nice to have $1000 in savings but what do you do when all your emergencies in a two week span total double that amount? Cry. If you're me. Also if you're me you break the cardinal rule and put some of that shit on those credit cards you hadn't used in about 6 months (Dammit!) so that after xmas you can start the new year off by paying off those newest charges asap before getting back to baby step #1.
I'm constantly having to remind myself that we just started this process and we're so young. When I do, I am super stoked on our potential. We're still 5.5 years from 30. Finishing step 3 (the real emergency fund of 6 mo. expenses) is the goal and hopefully with motivation we can also save up a hefty home down payment with a great rate on a 15 year mortgage.
Who really knows though, right?
I'm determined but I'm still a little anxious about "living like no one else now...".
Some of his more radical ideas I just can't swallow for ourselves. Like, we could sell Collin's drums, but really? No effing way. And if we do that and sell some furniture we could move into a littler apartment but it's the same deal.
I'm not there yet (if I ever will be). I want to stay here because I think it's unfair to have a large dog in too small a space and we have too many benefits that aren't monetary. Like access to the Thomas Center for dog walking, great neighbors that help us not have to board Lucky when we travel, a utility bill half paid for by our landlord in exchange for letting her use our address as her own, updated (safer) plumbing/hvac/fireplaces and do you know how much it costs to move? A lot.
Most of it though, we're going to do.
Some expenses will just have to go - like the "credit protection" I have on my amex and vices we simply do not need to keep feeding. We need to keep better track of our stuff - Collin especially with tips and freelance, his variable income. We have to know exactly what we have so we can make sure to live well within our means. I have to be better about the budget, too. It's all to easy to say that I can spend extra at the grocery store because we're eating out less this month but if I don't do the math and don't move the money, it won't happen. It will all just over spend.
We're also lucky that we've been able to provide for ourselves in unexpected ways this year. Just this past couple weeks when we're really struggling, I make 4 sales on Etsy and Collin gets a fat stack of subpoenas. Maybe I won't get those prescription sunglasses right at xmas, but I'll get them sometime and I want more to be out of debt than anything else right now.
January will see a lot of mint.com and spreadsheeting, I tell you what.
Much love to the coming 2010
(much love to my 100th post)
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Last night I made spaghetti and meatballs. With half of one of those frozen garlic bread loaves with that are so good with their too much butter and seasonings built right in.
It was a really simple night.
I got home early from work and we relaxed and watched TV. Collin watered and looked after the yard while I started dinner. We went on a walk with Early down to the Thomas Center as the house filled with the smell of our meal.
After it was all done and we were both satisfied we just kept looking at each other and smiling these wide, bright grins. These looks on our faces kept saying, "I love you. And I love our life together." and we were both so sincere.
I said last night to him that I wouldn't change a single thing about my life. That I have not the tiniest piece of my life to complain about. Now, I know this isn't the first time I've felt that way. I've been in just the right place and time in my life before; happy and fulfilled. Now though, the present, feels more permanent. It is more permanent. I'm older now and more aware of what I need to make me happy vs what I want that could make me happy. In the past years I've been successful in sifting through the both and really focusing on my needs - things like a loving partner, a comfortable home, a handful of good friends, a satisfying yet enjoyable job.
These things I now have.
Sure there are parts of my life I would improve on; debt and Collin's school status are the two big ones but I'm not worried about them because we're actively working on all this together.
Yet I find myself asking whether I am simply settling or lucky to have found this place where I want to stay and raise a family? Why would I run off to start over in another city when I'm not unhappy here? I think it would take some miracle job for Collin and I to make a move and I just don't see that happening. Some of our friends are becoming restless though. Many moved here for college and are just tired of this town. I understand. Had I moved here for the same reason we would have probably jetted off to some other corner of the country by now. Maybe not though. I'm not a wet blanket or anything, I just like stability, and the comfort that comes from living in one city longer than two years. As Collin said to me once when we were still long-distance-dating, "I'm not a waffler". A handful of friends are starting to put some roots into our community as well. One just bought a house this past year. I find myself even more content knowing that we could be building the extended family we reach out to for the next 20 years.
I once heard about a study that stated womens fantasies were much more frequently about domestic life and milestones rather than sex (to hell with trying to find it, this was so so long ago). I want to say that they simply asked of both sexes, "What are some of your fantasies?" and let them answer openly without prompting. Thoughts about getting married, owning a home, landing a dream job were frequently first thought of by women - I am not surprised. This is me, but especially after marriage I find this to be true. Is it this way for most married women? Is it because we know we can have good sex when we want (assuming our husbands are similarly willing to drop anything for a romp) and these are the things in life about which we aren't sure? Are fantasies supposed to be your ultimate dream reality or something you can have if you're just patient and work hard?
Am I doing the fantasy thing wrong? Or am I, in part, living my fantasy already?
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I'd be posting all about my wonderful weekend celebrating the opening of the art show and the first anniversary of my marriage.
Except...
My nose is buried in my new book.
The Year of the Flood, the latest by Margaret Atwood. I read The Handmaid's Tale in high school and wrote my final research paper in Dystopian Lit juxtaposing Oryx and Crake between it and Brave New World. Sigh. Now this is a sequel (of sorts) to Oryx and Crake and so far, so good. I read she is writing a third for the group and you can bet if things continue as the last 75 pages have I'll be reading it as well. I'm making it obvious that I have a crazy love for utopian/dystopian novels. Anthem was the first (as I'm sure it was for many teenagers in American schools) but it was just the beginning.
Collin bought me this book for our first anniversary. We decided a while ago that it would be fun (and cheaper?) to stick to the time-old traditional anniversary gifts. Paper it was for Year One. He had some help with this pick, but I gave him a few ideas that I would love all involving paper. I was excited to see the package on our couch this past Sunday when we arrived home after our weekend away.
I was also happy to see a bottle of champagne left chilling in our fridge by our awesome neighbor/friend/cat-feeder Craig.
For his gift I ended up purchasing Collin a ticket to go see Deathklok again this year in Orlando when they come on tour. They're playing with two of his other favorite bands even! It may seem more romantic to buy tickets for the both of us but when I really thought about it I wanted to gift him a night away with the boys, too. It's purely coincidence that this second gift actually saved me another forty bucks ;)
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Life is still full and has been... interesting lately. I haven't done any enameling work since my last big push before I had to send everything down for the show. I ran out of flux in the process and since starting to use it again and do everything right, I'm not about to waste materials and time on an inferior result. I find myself missing it even though it's been stressful.
It's been nice though, I worked long hours at home to finish everything in the past couple months and to make time recently for gardening, house cleaning and general sittin'-on-ass has been wonderful.
Things that have also been wonderful in the past week:
1. The change of seasons. Fall equinox came and went and somehow in North Central Florida, this meant an instant change in weather. The breezes are cooler, the evenings are mild and this morning I had to wear a sweater because it was 56 degrees out. This is particularly awesome because it was the exact same weather pattern the year before for our wedding weekend. How coincidental for our anniversary to come each year with the most glorious weather imaginable.
2. Collin and I planned and installed an invisible trellis for our flowering vines on the backyard fence. The passionflower is still growing like crazy but ran out of room in its little corner and started to spill over into the neighbors yards. Woops. Hey, at least it's pretty. We've been meaning to help out our little yard for weeks now but with working on the show pieces and the incredible heat it just wasn't happening. Pictures soon, although it's "invisible" so they're not as awesome as you might imagine.
3. Also fixed up the front yard some more and replaced some of the boxwoods and flowers that had died since putting them in this spring. Thank you Lowe's for having a 1 year return policy on potted plants. I will never pay for one again this year.
4. Because it is so nice out we were able to walk Early down to the Northeast dog park this week. She and Smokey had a blast and it was fun to see more of our neighborhood that I had yet to discover. Something that makes me want to stay here forever. I need to take a photo tour of our area and show off the picturesque homes we have.
5. Cooking up a storm for Collin and myself. First it was the need to get in the last of the late summer meals. The bbq and burgers and salads (like we won't be eating that kind of thing all winter or something). Now I'm suddenly struck with the urge to bake casseroles and roast pork loin and winter squash. I can feel the knit sweaters and hot cocoa now.
6. Kara came to town! I was able to see one of my best friends (even if just for a few hours) meet her sweet boyfriend whom she's been dating for a year now and catch up. Something about our wedding - Anna and TJ, Kara and Ben and Meggan and Ben all started dating just before then and are still going strong, Rachel and Nick are engaged even. Am I some kind of good luck in love charm or what? We had good times at The Top and a delicious brunch at a new place in town. It's not close to our house but it's right by the interstate which will make for a nice meet up spot with the family in the future.
There were a few things this week that weren't so good.
1. Timmy, the beloved cat of our neighbors at the Fat Tuscan Cafe, was hit by a car and killed this past Saturday morning. This was the same little boy kitty we found and were feeding under our house. I'll never forget the first day we met him and coaxed him into a carrier with some wet food. Man he was pissed. I was crying with laughter at his pitiful little growls he was trying to make while still eating. Grrrnomnomnomrrrnom. So cute. It shouldn't have happened - but it did - and in many ways the situation unfolded in the best ways possible. Whoever hit him was kind enough to move him over to the grass near Eve's driveway. She also was out of town that week. This kept her and Timmy's owners from having to see him first thing that morning or lying there in the road, worse off. Collin and I were able to move him onto an old towel and cover him up (we were already wearing gloves and working in the yard) before getting and telling his owners. I took his collar off for her too, that way if she didn't want to look at him, she would know for sure who it was. This was... hard. I haven't had a reason to cry like this in so long. Collin had the hardest parts of moving Timmy onto the towel and going to tell his owner. I couldn't thank him enough for being strong that day.
2. While we were in the front yard later, working to keep our minds off of it all, our upstairs neighbors cat escaped and sprinted past us into the next door neighbors yard. OMFG are you kidding me? Right after we are emotionally drained by sad kitty issues, we're chasing a cat around a giant yard hoping he hasn't found any of Timmy's pass-throughs. Now I don't mean to brag, but I was the one who was finally able to sprint and catch him - half his body already over the fence - by the tail and the scruff. I carried him back to his home and he was so scared! This one is definitely not an outdoor kitty, and after seeing Timmy that morning and the stress of chasing his own little one around outside, our neighbor has no plans to let him live outdoors.
3. Our new landlord is awesome and helping us in a million ways by fixing up every problem we have with our place and then some. She is however starting to rub me slightly the wrong way over little things like storing items in the garage that we - not she - cleaned out. So we can store our stuff in there. It's silly, and I can't imagine it would ever be a real issue, but Eve and I were talking last night and both were a bit taken back by how she seemed to think that it's in any way cluttered at the moment. Maybe I need to show her some photos of what cluttered really looks like.
4. I took photos of all the last pieces I made for the show and promptly forgot to load them on the computer. By the time I noticed, Collin's sister had already taken her camera home and erased half of them. Boo. My fault entirely, but I hope she can find them in her recycle folder!!
Tomorrow marks the start of October and it means I need to boogie down and get some Halloween plans started. I want to decorate the house and porch this year, carve pumpkins and figure out a costume that requires minimal effort and money. And one I can easily eat/drink in and doesn't require a wig or face paint. I'm thinking we may make animal masks or costumes and wear them with our regular clothes. Eh?
October will kick off this weekend with a wonderful start.
Thursday night is Ladies Night and then Islands are playing at 1982. Done.
Friday Collin and I are going to the salon to get his hair cut and my nails done. My yearly manicure - what a treat! Then we'll drive with Early Girl down to Sarasota for the gallery reception and hanging out with our friends Matt and Janelle and their dog Toby.
Saturday we have plans to go to the dog beach for Early's first visit with dinner later that evening to celebrate the one-year anniversaries in the family. Also that night, more catching up with old friends and visiting our favorite Sarasota eateries. Including Muncheez 420 Cafe - a spot close to the bars that was recently featured on the Sarasota episode of Man vs. Food.
Sunday we'll pick up freezer goodies from Granny on our way out of town before driving back for a quiet evening on our real anniversary. Maybe a movie in with some popcorn and, weather permitting, a cozy fire.
Then, it's back to the grind. If only it were like last year and I had next week off and we were looking towards vacation in Savannah.
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This is a photo from last summer before we installed the pool. The yard had already been cleared most of the way by Collin's dad one afternoon when he was visiting and bored (thanks, Craig). Still, weeds weeds weeds everywhere.
This is a photo from a couple weekends ago after we took down the pool and started working on digging up the last of the weeds and roots. Potato vines are the worst; the thorns somehow get sharper and more numerous the deeper you go. Some of those ended up about 5 feet long but we dug out some other nuisance roots that were over 7 feet long! I've also been treating the yard for fire ants periodically over the past year and consistently for the past month or so. There are still ant hills that crop up here and there. Oh, and there was a nice surprise of swarming carpenter ants on the garage wall near the hose. I have no mercy for poisonous insects - they were promptly and thoroughly poisoned. We also have a hefty bucket full of rocks ranging in size from <1" to >15 lbs. Other inorganic items we found buried in the yard: a full size fast-food tray about half a foot deep, and old-school home made label from 1983, a t-shirt, several pieces of broken glass and bottles, a razor head, and lots of random plastic film. 
This past Saturday, to celebrate 6-months-married (already?!), we finished the job. Our landlord is awesome and gave us a generous budget with which to purchase supplies for landscaping the yard. We still have plenty of money left to add more to the back and even re-do the front yard too. The front will have to wait a couple weeks but I'm excited for things to look good. Working on a project like this is so much better when we can do it together, we're a good team. And planting a garden together is, for me at least, pretty darn sweet.
I researched good plants for our area and walked around the Lowe's garden center taking notes on my favorite flowers and vines. I saw a lot of plants from my yard growing up and, naturally, quite a few wound up on our cart. I know these plants grow well in our hot, humid summers and the drought conditions that somehow combine with hurricane season. Things like angel trumpet flowers, jasmine, and liriope.
Here's collin raking in the good stuff before we plant the border. There are some really huge wild hibiscus plants along the back fence that we opted to keep. Mostly because it was going to be impossible to dig them out without some kind of power tool. They also are pretty. In the late summer they like to bloom bright red drop flowers. We cut them back so much a few weeks ago when we started working on things. They've already grown so much - I think we'll have a lot more trimming to do throughout the season.
This is the back fence line, where we planted flowers and shrubs exclusively. It was so bright when I took some of these, I doubt you can really make out the individual plants too well. On the left though, you can see the jessamine vine that will hopefully crawl all over the fence. That along with the passion flower vine and two kinds of jasmine! I was able to save the longest roots and tie them together to make natural arching trellis for all the vines.
The finished product, including fire pit. We reserved the left side of the fence for a few flowers and all the vegetables. The whole yard is bright, but I wanted to make sure that the little guys don't get burned this summer so the shadow created by the fence line should do the trick. In the ground are tomatoes, sweet bell peppers, yellow crooked-neck squash, zucchini, watermelons, basil, mint, and onions! We saved the jasmine for this side of the fence. I know it will get big eventually and once the veggies are done, or after we move on and they are neglected, the jasmine will keep that side beautiful. We also spread out grass seed on the lawn. I can't wait to see it start sprouting - really I can't wait to break out the lawn chair and get some sun with a bbq going and a cold drink in my hand.
So, who wants to come to the eventual garden party? This yard is going to be perfect for enjoying friends, cooking outside, and eventually playing with our new pup. The pup who was, in part, our motivation for landscaping the yard. We wanted to make sure the lawn and garden were well-established before letting a dog back there. Plus, we wanted a nice place for us to play together; one that wasn't full of thorny vines and fire ants and broken glass.
As sore as I still am, it was a wonderful day.
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